Some brides enjoy the limelight that inevitably comes with a wedding day. But if you’re worried about all eyes being on you, on your wedding day, here are some tips so you don’t miss out on all the meaning, pleasure and experience of your wedding day, through being self-conscious rather than relaxed and confident.
- Breathe…see my blog all about it…seriously…it’s easy to forget when you’re nervous!
- Get someone to be on “posture watch”, to help with a whisper in your ear in case those shoulders are hunching.
- Practise some photo poses…not everyone enjoys being photographed – your photographer will always be happy to give you some tips, but one I’ve found useful is stand with your feet at an angle to the camera (about 45 degrees), but turn the top of your body so it’s facing straight on. If you don’t know what to do with your arms, try putting one behind your back…for some reason it can make your other arm hang in a natural looking way, even though it might feel weird. In reality, you’ll probably be holding either a) your new hubby’s hand or b) a glass of bubbly on the day, so problem solved!
- Pre-empt the presence of any tricky party members by confiding in one of your nearest and dearest to be in charge of a deflection strategy. This may sound extreme, but we all have a crazy uncle who gets too drunk, or a bridesmaid who tends to flirt with everyone’s husband, or just one of those people who lose sight of the fact the day is not all about them…it shouldn’t be you who has to deal with their drama, so get ahead of the game and delegate!
- Practise what you’re scared of – is it speaking your vows aloud? Or walking without tripping over your shoes or your dress or your own feet? It doesn’t matter – just practise a bit before and it’ll help you relax. If you’re planning on making a speech, practise it beforehand…and don’t drink too much. If you could see the video from my wedding, you’d understand.
- Remember that everyone is there because they are a part of your life and they love you. They’re not judging you…they are there to witness and event which is changing your life. Before the wedding day, they will no doubt have spent time admiring their invitation from you, arranging travel plans, worrying about what to wear and whether their hat goes with their bag, timing their highlights and spray-tan…and you know what…it’s all for you.
- When you see your partner at the other end of the aisle, or next to you if you walk in together, you’ll suddenly realise that actually, they are what this is all about. The rest – the table plan (separating crazy drunk uncle from flirty bridesmaid), the flowers, the cake, even the dress JUST. DOESN’T. MATTER. They’re just trimmings. Focus on why you’re there and you’ll be fine.
Yesterday, we hosted an event at Gate Street Barn in Surrey, called Perfect Fit. It went really well, and lovely smiley brides came and were interested in learning about how their dress should fit, and hopefully encouraged by our passion to inspire individuality, and get creative when it came to the plans for their dress or flowers,
It included a talk by me and I’ll be the first to admit that public speaking is NOT my forte. Even though I was speaking about a topic I love (wedding dress fitting, construction, tips on avoiding back cleavage etc), I was still terrified and assumed it was dreadful and no-one heard a word I said over the shaking tremors of my squeaky voice.
And then I got the most lovely feedback from a guest who was there – a bridesmaid who was with her friend the bride, and made me realise my last tip about being in the limelight…it’s never as bad as you think it is!
Thank you so much, Gisela, for these kind words, and also sharing your thoughts on the day x
Coffee, Cakes and Caroline Arthur by Gisela Redman
What a fabulous afternoon we had at Gate Street Barn today. When we arrived we were offered complimentary coffee and beautiful cupcakes – cakes by one of Caroline’s delightful Design Consultants, Alisha.
My lovely friend, Olivia, who will be getting married at Gate Street Barn later this year, invited me to come with her today. We were a bit unsure what to expect – maybe we would be sitting in formal rows listening to a long talk and be shown wedding dress after wedding dress? However, the style and ambience of the event couldn’t have been more relaxed and friendly.
Caroline is such a bubbly and approachable person and this really came across during her very informal, two-way talk as she held the hand of her adorable little 4-year old daughter. In the barn, surrounded by a “meadow” of fresh flowers displayed in old fashioned milk bottles, the guests all stood or sat wherever they wanted and listened to Caroline’s words of advice and help for the brides to be. Little tips of experience which will no doubt be invaluable on all the special days.
Caroline’s talk was followed by a really useful short talk by Guilt Lingerie from Petworth about how to achieve the correct shape and form for your wedding day. I glanced over at the young man videoing the event who was, at this point, blushing a little – so much for blushing brides!
We were wowed by the happy, friendly, colourful atmosphere. The barn looked gorgeous and as we walked along the “grass” paths that weaved their way through the flowers we could see Caroline’s stunning wedding dresses. My eyes were immediately drawn to the most amazing lace overlaid dress and tears welled up – it was so so pretty, feminine and elegant. I didn’t expect my reaction! Then, sumptuous fabric samples, more delicate lace, sashes, bows, glittering belts. We were in girlie heaven! Caroline’s design consultants were amazing – nothing was too much trouble and with their expert knowledge they helped put together a beautiful combination of shapes, first on Caroline’s clever CoutureKit interactive website and then on a mannequin with some of their mouthwatering fabrics and lace overlays to achieve Olivia’s perfect dress.
We came away with flowers and cakes and happy happy hearts, having had the most lovely afternoon.
Thank you Caroline and team and thank you Gate Street Barn.
Thank you to:
the amazing team Hannah Martin for the meadow and trees which made the event so special.
Patrick from Chess Disco who provided the amazing birdsong in the background
Gate Street Barn – the beautiful venue, thank you for letting us take over the place for the day
Guilt Lingerie – to Donna, Sylke and Sarah who did the fabulous talk on what to wear under your wedding dress
And at the end of the day, remember, your mates will always be there to prop you up. Thank you to my fabulous girls Susie, Louise and Aleshia, without whom, none of this would have happened, and who insist on wearing tiaras at every opportunity x