Keeping Your old wedding dress: Clutter or Self-Care?
"My wedding dress is folded and put in a large box at the bottom of my wardrobe. I get it out every now and then to look at it. I'm not sure what else I wish to do with it as it's a sentimental item."
These are the words of Sarah, one of my real brides, who shared her thoughts during my research for my book, Relovable, and I sensed they came with a hint of embarrassment. She felt she needed to justify why she'd kept her dress without a clear plan for it. But here's what I told her: there's no need to explain the rationale for keeping it and it’s definitely not clutter.
If you ask me what you should do with their old wedding dress, you might reasonably assume I’m going to try and persuade you to chop it up. I get it - I seem to have become a bit of a bridal repurposing expert . But it may surprise you to know I’ve kept my own old wedding dress intact. It doesn’t feel like clutter to me, it feels more like self-care, and I wanted to share the reason why.
I’m not ready yet. I think I will in the future, but for now, it sits on a mannequin in my sewing room because yes, I’m still attached to it after 25 years.
We're surrounded by messages about the drawbacks of attachment and bombarded with the benefits of decluttering. Much in the media suggests that peace and contentment are to be found in minimalism, and some purists believe we should justify why we want to keep anything that no longer serves a purpose.
But attachment to things we once wore isn't the enemy we've been told it is. Viewed differently, it embodies a sense of responsibility, conscious sentimentality, affection, pleasure and comfort. What's wrong with that?
Many brides I contacted expressed absolute conviction that they would never contemplate doing anything other than keeping their dress safely in the box where it has slept since their wedding day. The fact that most of us keep our dresses, often without knowing why, suggests we have some intuitive sense that they are part of us.
The instinct was to keep it for some yet undefined reason, to be assessed another day. Today might be that day - not to do something with it, but to understand why keeping it is perfectly valid.
Your wedding dress is more than fabric and thread. It absorbed memories as your day unfolded. It holds the moment you first saw yourself as a bride, the confidence that grew as it fit like a glove, the sensation of feeling absolutely beautiful and one of a kind.
In our increasingly disconnected world, having something that grounds you in your personal history isn't clutter - it's an anchor. You're allowed to keep things that make you happy, remind you that you are loved, and connect you to moments when you felt your most radiant self.
Whether your dress lives in a beautiful storage box, hangs in a frame, or stays folded in that wardrobe, it's serving a purpose. It's preserving not just fabric, but feeling. It's maintaining a connection to a version of yourself who felt hopeful, celebrated, and utterly cherished.
There is nothing wrong with liking something and wanting to keep it. Each person is entitled to keep their dress and should feel no obligation or guilt about their connection, love and attachment to their gown. Your dress-filled box is full of something far more valuable than space - it's full of love.
I would love to help you fall back in love with your dress and to feel confident in your decision to keep it. If you want to see the alternatives for keeping it intact at some point, you can Access my FREE guide to “Beyond the Big Day” HERE which is a video and PDF giving you an overview of where to start and what to do with your old dress - the first steps toward giving your gown a second life.
If you’re a bride-to-be, then download my FREE "Peaceful Dress Journey" guide HERE to discover answers to the most commonly asked questions from all my brides. After your wedding, I’ll then send you some ideas for what to do with your old dress.
You’ll find more about the bridal world in my book, Relovable which you can buy HERE. It was sustainably produced in a small print run and there aren’t many copies left, but makes a perfect gift for a bride-to-be, or for anyone who loves sewing, upcycling and wedding dresses.
